DiNozzo's Rules~ (Taken from the NCIS Wiiki

[thankyou_boss]

DiNozzo's Rules
Rule #
Rule
Actual Character Quote:
1
Never sit on the sidelines when your people need you.

(* From Season 4, Episode 1: Shalom.)
Tony (to Gibbs): "Let's roll. Hey, no, this is my team now, Gibbs. My rules. And DiNozzo's rule number one is I don't sit on the sidelines when my people are in trouble. You got a problem with that? Just remember who's got a badge and who is a civilian."
2
If a sexually attractive female is involved in the case ALWAYS hit on her.
3
Never underestimate your opponent.

(*From Season 3, Episode 24L Hiatus, Part II.)
Tony: "He blew up a ship and put Gibbs in a coma. Rule number three: Never underestimate your opponent."
McGee: "No actually, rule number three...."
Tony: "DINOZZO'S rule numero tres, probay"
McGee: "Gotcha!"
4
Always seek out a movie analogy.
5
Take every opportunity to do a Tommy Lee Jones speech from the Fugitive.
6
When doing Tommy Lee Jones impressions, get the accent right.
7
Always defuse a situation with humour rather than resorting to authoritarianism.
8
Always make sure your work is done but make it look like you are just lazing around.
9
If said work is not yet done, come back in the middle of the night to complete it.
9
Never ask a woman her weight on the first date.

(*From Season 1, Episode 13: One Shot, One Kill.)
Tony: "You sure about that? I thought nine was 'Never ask a girl her weight on the first date.'"
Kate: "Guess that depends entirely on if you want a second one or not Tony."
10
Do not fall in love when working undercover.
11
Do not go undercover posing as the boyfriend of anyone.
12
Be very careful whom you tongue-kiss: it might be a man in disguise.
13
Never pick on a probie when he is down.
14
Maintain the morale of the rest of the team, even when you have sufficient experience to be really very worried about Gibbs.
15
Develop a first name working relationship with the Director but defer to Gibbs.
16
Don't drink the boss' coffee-ever.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------